No rest for the wicked

Due to some no doubt ominous aligning of the planets this morning, I had to wake up about 5 hours earlier than I’m used to and saw the sun rise as I walked down to the station. This was not the kind of thing you’d see on a Nike/Sports by Brooks/Boost Juice ad – there was no triumphant fist pumping or spinning around with arms skyward in a gesture of how much of a free spirit I was. It was bleary eyes, bed head and generally lots of things that said I don’t want to get up at 5am again. That said, I am now on a bus – blogging on one should be an interesting experience. I apologise in advance for any surreal images that my omelette-ised brain may conjure.

...BLOG BUS!

Mum and dad arrived on Saturday afternoon to kick off what’s turning out to be a very relaxed trip – “beer and food” was the order of the day and we’ve had lashings of both. Our hotel scouting was a big success and dad in particular is enjoying the boat theme of their new home (“you’re right, I do like the lift”, he said, admiring the porthole). We had to cancel some of the things we planned to do on account of the heat, but I think having very little lined up was the idea of the holiday. Summer trips are nice in a way – because it’s so disgracefully warm, it’s okay not to do a whole lot. For the most part we’ve been spending our time around Sannomiya eating and drinking everything not nailed down. Everyone’s been enabling me to a huge extent at the UFO catchers – the highlight would have to have been yesterday.

Having ducked into one of the game centres along the main drag, I showed everyone the hilarious table flipping game and made a new Japanese friend by getting the high score. I popped my name in as “Maiku”, which was probably not the best idea because then he wouldn’t stop saying it as he followed us over to the UFO catchers. Most of the time I just walk past the “crappy little scoopy ones” – little machines usually full of unpleasant chocolates that you can win one or two of if you’re lucky. More recently though they’ve been piling up towers of full sized chocolate bars, which look tantalisingly easy to topple. I didn’t think it could be done personally but mum (convinced that she was going to have a lucky day due to a bird crapping on her in the morning) handed me the winning 100 yen coin and after a lusty wobble, half the stack of chocolate crashed down the chute with a satisfying “thunk”. My new friend scuttled off to demand the rest was a “get” as well and before we knew it, we were the proud owners of the entire foot-high pile of chocolate bars. I gave him one of each as payment and he shook my hand gratefully, looking very much like we were the best thing to happen to him all week.

We also had day trips out to Osaka and up Mount Rokko again to fill our quotas of both big city and nature. In the former case, we have officially found the only place in the world that can draw Astro Boy in mayonnaise. The latter, Rokko cider (made with only the finest Rokko water) now has three new fans. Having finished up a relaxing day in the pseudo-Alps yesterday, we headed to our neck of the woods and ate UFO-won chips back at the ranch. Unfortunately the celebrations couldn’t go for too long however, due to me having to wake up at the dawn of time.

Which brings me to today – after three different people giving me three different sets of directions, I managed to find what I think is the right bus and am now watching the farmland sail past in bemusement. It would probably be quite nice but the bus driver thinks he’s in an F1 car and the wheels seem to be made of cement and angry men. Every few seconds I have to grip on to my computer and grimace as he misses another shop awning or highway barrier by 2cm, which is making it quite hard to concentrate. The most absurd thing about it is that everyone except me is fast asleep, flopping from side to side as the bus rattles around like an unusually noisy paint shaker. I’m heading to a conference where I’m expected to bore everyone silly for several hours – I hope I won’t be needing my teeth there.