Out with a whimper, in with a bang

Well, here we are - my last blog post for the year and not a moment too soon. The time for goodbyes is upon us and with each farewell party that comes by, I can feel my engine lugging more and more. I have no real reason to be exhausted because all in all it's a very gentle end to the year; having said that, I think you always end up with exactly the right amount of physical and mental energy to crawl over the finish line and not a drop more. That must be it - the endless parties, schizophrenic sleeping patterns and late night coffee binges have nothing to do with it, I'm sure.

A new twist on the old favourites

By this stage of the game I would have thought things would be winding down, but this weekend proves that there was a charge or two left in the ol' roman candle. With a shiver of delight, I got behind the wheel of a rental car and was reminded how delicious driving is. No last trains, no "next bus not for 20 minutes", no walking up the hill in the rain - glory on four wheels. Mount Rokko, Arima Onsen and Awaji Island all awaited, the old stomping grounds that we thought we'd seen all of. It was going to be a tinkly, steamy, swirly and shaky weekend - in that order.

Boys and their toys, girls and their pearls

It's hardly even a question any more what we're going to do on a public holiday. Like wolves anticipating a clear night we can feel the need building up in us; the wild impulse to go crashing through the undergrowth, leap out into the moonlight, throw our heads back and bay:
God, that's cheap. Do you reckon it'd go with my shoes?
It's hardly surprising, then, that we spent our Tuesday public holiday in the dark forests of Kobe, snuffling around at bargain tables. Mel and Lisa spent a lot of their time in shoe shops being extremely girly; Adam and I looked at shamelessly masculine things like portable hard drives and bean bags. The giant robot though, that was something everybody could enjoy.

Romance ensues

"You're definitely management material," Lisa said, her tone suggesting this wasn't a good thing at all. By this stage I'm sure she was sick to death of hearing about the mid-year seminar by this stage, but politely listened until the end anyway. The short version is that everything went extremely well and that I'm well cut out for shameless self-promotion and withering flattery of my "underlings". Nevertheless, I was quite happy to spend the weekend doing things as far from work as possible, specifically on a river and with several cheeky monkeys. My brain still feels like an overworked muscle (to say the least); it's obviously not used to hard work.

Too much is never enough

I feel like a neverending font at the moment - those that thirst for plausible-sounding nonsense need only twist my handle and loose a cascading torrent of it, enough to fill any container they have. Five such vessels have overflowed in the past couple of weeks, four of which were the workshops for the mid-year seminar coming up this week; the fifth, my plenary session, took gallons. They're all officially done and ready to be uncorked.

Those in the front rows may get wet.

Cha-ching

The showpiece of last week had to be Culture Day, a glorious midweek public holiday that I'm not entirely sure of the purpose of; it's probably another one of Japan's many examples of "let's think of a provocative name for a day off". Being the refined creatures we are, we decided to focus our attention on Osaka shopping culture and had what I think was my 3rd successful trip out there in a row. At this rate I might actually start liking the place.

Wit beyond measure

The Harry Potter costume reached its cymbal-crashing climax on Friday night, helped along in no small part by the enthusiasm arms race of the previous few days. It went from "sorting out our costumes" to "dinner and sorting out our costumes" and then kind of escalated from there.
"You have an oven?" said Len. "I'll bring cake." I can't think of too many things he didn't bring.

It's nothing to you, but it keeps me alive

I've recently found myself suddenly struck down by term 4-itis, leaving me stranded in the middle of last week with an urgent need to not be at work. I've wondered about the cause - the weather, things currently being in a state of flux, costume anxiety... but perhaps the best explanation is that I've been at work without a break since August and still have 8 uninterrupted weeks to go. 8 weeks is both a crushingly long time and a mere blink before we head home - I'm Shröedinger's exchange teacher, simultaneously wishing it away and cherishing every minute. Until you open my box, at least.

...BRILLIANT!

It's been quite an odd week, at least compared to the others of our extremely average existence - a variety of things seem to have stirred up the nest a bit. I don't know how I feel about this - on one level the ants in my pants seem to be enjoying the routine change but on another I just really want to be wasting time on my own terms. I should probably stop thinking every idea is a really good one.

...anybody got a Gryffindor tie I can borrow?

And four beers, thanks

I don't know if it was the daily beers, the constant meals out, no-money poisoning or all of the above, but I am mentally all over the road at the moment; I find my mind drifting constantly. Japan is well and truly Narnia-like, I said to myself as I drifted off last night. The only problem is that rather than grand adventuring with Aslan, I seem content to sit on the couch and drink cups of tea - I tut and draw the curtains on all the centaurs and magic. Is this amazing world behind the wardrobe that few people ever discover wasted on me? Probably. Now get out of the way, I can't see the TV.

Barely holding together

Lisa's parents arrived on Friday, in remarkably good spirits given that their plane was delayed approximately 22 times. Like all our visitors, their trip so far has been a whirlwind sweeping through Kobe and the greater Kansai area. Hundreds of temple tickets flitter around in the twister, along with the occasional "all you can eat" dinner receipt. If you listen carefully, just for a moment, you may hear some words carried on the howling winds:

God, my feet are sore.

What is this I don't even

There's been a cool change this week, both in the weather and our level of activity, which is probably for the best in both cases. "Silver Week" has just wrapped up, a dual-public-holiday week that was spent gloriously far away from Tokyo and its wallet incinerators. Most notably, Friday was the Sports Festival at one of my schools, which in short is an insane version of the sports carnivals we have at home, featuring tricycles and cardboard box tank treads.

You probably still won't understand when I explain it.

Cake bus, cat bus, silver robot hat bus

Our Tokyo long weekend had several essential components. There were to be new experiences like the Ghibli Museum and the Tokyo Game Show. Eggs Benedict had to be involved somehow. Most important of all, we needed rice cooker banana cake for what became known as "cake bus".

The rice cooker beeped, cake was wrapped in foil, the stage was set. We grabbed our bags and headed out the door on the most successful Tokyo trip I've ever been on.

I think I might have just spoiled the ending.

Ships passing in the night

Birthdays are a bit of a blessing I think - they hold some currency in people's increasingly crowded social lives and book you a spot to catch up with them properly. Like mine a couple of months ago (has it been that long?) and Lisa's on Friday, people seem to make room in their calendar and awfully nice nights come together. We're stuck on the wrong side of the summer holidays and kind of lost in the work wilderness now; it's starting to feel like December is hurtling towards us faster than we can finish the things we want to do. In what sounds like the plot of a very depressing movie, I'm finding myself heading out to work before Lis is up and coming home as she's leaving. It was nice to have an excuse to get dressed up and go out for a proper meal.

The plastic tablecloths, not so much.

Harder than it looks

It's been an interesting week, although not really in a good way. As expected, I passed my doom plague on to Lisa and while it didn't have quite as spectacular an effect on her, it did mean a swift trip out to the hospital (given that there are no GPs here). This turned out to be far less swift than imagined.

Like the back of the Batmobile

After all my posturing, I actually managed to last an entire week of not eating or spending outrageously. Granted, I was helped along a bit by a bout of what I'm convinced was cholera and spending the better part of a week with literally 40 yen to my name, but credit where credit is due. Some would consider this a terrible way to spend the last days of your summer holiday but after the past few weeks, limitless guilt-free vegetation is just what the doctor ordered.

Well, that and some antibiotics maybe.

A small town lad

You'll be pleased to know that the blog bus didn't go down in fiery ruin as expected, leaving me tapping out my last few pithy jokes at the bottom of a gorge in Nishiwaki. I lived on for at least another prosperous few days of travel, beer and in time, a desperate need to not do anything any more.

Tokyo, I'm sorry - we're just not right for one another.

No rest for the wicked

Due to some no doubt ominous aligning of the planets this morning, I had to wake up about 5 hours earlier than I’m used to and saw the sun rise as I walked down to the station. This was not the kind of thing you’d see on a Nike/Sports by Brooks/Boost Juice ad – there was no triumphant fist pumping or spinning around with arms skyward in a gesture of how much of a free spirit I was. It was bleary eyes, bed head and generally lots of things that said I don’t want to get up at 5am again. That said, I am now on a bus – blogging on one should be an interesting experience. I apologise in advance for any surreal images that my omelette-ised brain may conjure.

...BLOG BUS!

Back o' my neck gettin' burned and gritty

It officially feels like summer now, which seems extraordinarily late given that I've been on summer holidays, being repeatedly sunburned, for the better part of a month. Still, I consider these incidents minor hiccups in an otherwise gloriously uninterrupted chorus of air conditioning; my brief trips out of our wintery apartment have been mostly to collect money, baby seals and puppy dogs to tip into its gnashing steel maw. For that reason I guess the heat hasn't affected us as much as usual.

What's really clued us in is the spate of very summery things we've been doing over the past few days, the highlight of which was a fireworks display where you could actually see fireworks. Are you listening, Osaka?

The dumpling king, a tale in 2 parts (Part 2)

We left off our tale "last week" with Dave having just arrived, me wondering how I was going to last the week without squeaking to a halt like an unoiled tin-man and you unsure as to what "the dumpling king" refers to. Now that the lads have finished their whirlwind trip (Dave having bid farewell and left for Tokyo this morning), I'm sitting in what now seems to be a very empty, lonely apartment; it seems like a good time to conclude the tale. Theirs weren't the only goodbyes this week, as you will see.

The dumpling king, a tale in 2 parts (Part 1)

I'm not sure how busy and tiring I thought being a tour guide was going to be, but I don't think I came within a bull's roar of it. Correct answer: bloody busy, stupidly tiring. It's been fun, but in a too-much-all-at-once movie marathon kind of way; by this stage of proceedings I don't care whether the good guys win, I just want to go home to bed. Like all movie marathons, this one has some good stories to go with it. Let's go get the inevitable McDonald's breakfast and I'll share the highlights.

I'm going to pretend I've been virtuous and not skipped out on my blogging duties - this is "last week's" post. Part 2 will be posted once I'm back in the swing and can no longer stand "Blog notes.doc" watching me from my desktop (very soon).

And then I ate a whole sheep

Having just finished a long weekend and my last official day of work, I find myself reflecting. It's a time of old ends and new beginnings; as the sun sets on my working life and rises over the holidays, I find myself turning my measured gaze to what the future holds. Should I put some pants on? Should I have another almond chocolate thing?

No. Yes.

Shopping, damned shopping and outlet parks

Our shopping tour of the greater Kobe area continued this week with a junket out to "Sanda Premium Outlet Park", a surprisingly far away shopping centre that felt like the equivalent of getting public transport from Morley to Mandurah. It's also the first time I've seen the word "premium" properly used in Japan, given that everything there was mind bogglingly posh. The word typically means "10 yen more and with a gold wrapper".

60% off and still $2000? Now we're talkin' premium.

Celebrating 27 years of not dying

Exams have officially started now, which means a whole lot of not much for a couple of weeks until we break up for summer holidays. This can only be a blessing because I seem to have become a crotchety old loafer since my birthday on Sunday. I'm sitting in the staffroom nodding off in the cool of the air conditioner, grumbling at the thought of having to do anything and frowning at everyone that walks past.

My pants? Up to my sternum.

Berocca, drugs and rock 'n' roll

I have very little of interest to say to you this week, particularly compared to last week's bonanza; in the interests of keeping the rhythm going I'm just going to chuck something up. Possibly literally, if this doom flu I have gets as bad as I imagine. Through the twin miracles of infection and sleep deprivation, I currently have the sensation of controlling myself remotely. At the press of a button, my unfeeling arms click into position; I peer at this unfamiliar world through a camera. Sternly.

I think I should probably be in what you humans call "bed".

Like the Beatles but hairier

The "big weekend" has come and gone, a true salute to the phrase "when it rains, it pours". I've been trying to work out how to put it into words for a good couple of days now; I'm not entirely sure I've got it right but I'll give it a shot anyway. Needless to say, this is going to be a long post.

The story begins somewhat uninterestingly early last week where one of my Deputy Principals asks if I can shift my working schedule around a bit and come to their Culture Festival. It ends somewhat ridiculously in Kobe with handstands, fake moustaches and beer through a straw. Like a hamburger with too many patties, it's the bit in between that might make things a bit unwieldy.

On costumes and cooling

Perhaps inspired by a post I did at the other blog about Japan's buffet culture, Lis and I went out on Friday night for all you can eat yakiniku ("grilled meat" or BBQ). The concept is a solid one - vegetables and thinly sliced meat tossed on a table-mounted brazier, then plucked off at your leisure, dipped in sauces and regretted afterwards. Yakiniku is fairly expensive, as is all you can eat, so we were happy to get away with 25 bucks a head or so for the combination. This is one of the few situations you would pay that much to eat dinner out in Japan, mind you - it tends to be closer to $15 when you're not eating most of a barnyard.

Growing old disgracefully

Beer garden season seems to have officially opened in Japan now, which means the fake palm tree and spring roll industries are booming. Buildings across the metropolitan area are unfurling their spiky green astroturf, Hawaiian shirts are being reluctantly buttoned up and everyone, including us, is rushing toward the beer machines. Saturday night was one such example, where we headed to Himeji for Andy's 27th birthday. The sensible had to end eventually, I suppose.

Universally Studious

Kicking off (and probably causing) our attempt at a "no spendy weekendy" this weekend was a cheeky trip out to Universal Studios Japan. Our last attempt ended in 2 hours of rain, queues and tears, but luckily this time we nailed it. It's not the most traditional Japanese experience you can have, but it's something you can do here easily that you can't do at home so it still counts. I have no excuse for the caramel popcorn, though.

Ditto marks

Nothing particularly new this week, and sitting here in soaking pants and shoes that go "slosh slosh" has limited my desire to write (and live) so we'll see how this goes. I saw 3 umbrellas turned inside out this morning and I literally wrung my socks out into the sink when I got to school. Rainy season manages to combine tropical heat with driving rain, which turns the entire country into a concrete rainforest. School is even cancelled this morning due to flood warnings. It's apparently not cancelled for teachers though, who by their very nature are immune to storms and hypothermia.

Taste handbag, fiend!

This weekend was the Kobe Festival, a big parade and a bunch of stalls which closed off the whole of Sannomiya's Flower Road (which is a very big deal). I really enjoy having "things" happening all the time - people bellowing about the latest sale or "campaign", buskers and street music, huge events and festivals like this one. Unfortunately, so do the pushy old ladies and woe betide anyone who gets between them and a good view. When all you have is an elbow, every problem starts to look like someone's ribs.

Hi ho, hi ho

My brain really didn't want to admit that the break was over, and that there's now an almost uninterrupted 10 week slog to summer holidays. I'm sure once I get into the swing of it I'll be fine and I'll hardly realise the weekend is gone before there's another one. For now though, I'm going to crossly get out of bed and frown all the way on the train to work. So long holidays, and thanks for all the fish.

Golden!

Golden Week is, as I'm sure I've said, a string of almost uninterrupted public holidays that sits astride a weekend in early May. I used it as an excuse to not think about blogging for quite a while, which is why it's been ages since my last post. It was an action packed week in the end, and even though we didn't take any huge trips, we managed to fill up the time nicely with a bunch of excursions as my photos will attest. Results were varied. Good varied though, between "incredibly awesome" and "mildly annoying", the latter because of the heaving crowds that Golden Week is infamous for. We cancelled our car hire and big trip because of the expected traffic, which I think was a very good idea. In a parallel universe, I imagine there's a Mazda 2 embedded in the side of Kobe's Port Tower, where I sit amongst the chaos with a satisfied smile on my face.

For Queen and Country

I hadn't heard too much of Saint George to be honest, much less the day named after him, beyond the little picture of him on the side of my beer bottle. I still don't really, aside from the fact that he makes for a mean excuse to run around Kobe with a camera looking for creative interpretations of the word "corgi".

The true Japanese experience

The work party on Friday night was actually a bit better than I expected, if only for the sake of change. Rather than things disintegrating into karaoke and whiskey (not that there's anything wrong with that), we ended up at a classy bar drinking out of absurdly big wine glasses and being served cheese and chocolate by the Japanese equivalent of Eric Clapton in a waistcoat. This was the first chapter in a recent trend of doing very non-Japanese things. Somewhat ironically, after spending a lot of my downtime last weekend playing a game where you aim to exterminate mankind with a new virus, I've found myself struck down by another doom flu. It's really not doing much for my sense of adventure wanting to leave KFC.

The sweet taste of victory

As far as the weekend goes, this post is exactly what it says on the tin. We won a pub quiz. We ate a lot of desserty things the next day. This is about as clever as I can be on a Tuesday morning. I may still be suffering from the aftershock of my sugar crash.

Himeji hanami hangover hilarity

"We'll need to get the train at about 10 to get to Himeji on time", Lisa's message ominously warned in the wee hours of Saturday morning. This would probably have been a good time to go pay up and go home, but having another whiskey and bellowing out "Pretty Woman" seemed like a much better idea.

It wasn't. Or was it? By this stage, not even my hindsight could see straight.

And then we sang songs and baked a cake

I learned (or relearned) two things on my surprisingly wholesome travels this long weekend:
1. I don't much like children
2. Everywhere I like going is usually swarming with kids.
We may have a problem here.

Osaka and okonomi and otaku, oh my!

The long weekend that wasn't has just passed by and I think I enjoyed it more than I would have if we had gone away. Quite content not to turn out for a big trip, we settled for a nice quiet weekend with a couple of excursions out to rediscover our local area. Of particular note was a "street festa" in Osaka that happened on Sunday in dotonbori. This is the home of "Den Den Town", which is Osaka's answer to Tokyo's electronics district Akihabara. It's chockers with every kind of game shop, hobby store and arcade you can imagine and not surprisingly, it's where all the "otaku" (worryingly intense game/anime geeks) hang out. The festa was a big cosplay ("costume play" - dress up) event. A lot of these people pretty much live their lives in costume - when they actually make the effort to get dressed up, it's a bit of a bloody sight to behold.

Pestilence (but not much famine)

I've been laid out flat with my face buried in vitamin C drink for the better part of a week now, which explains the lack of updates. Even the word "blog" was enough to set my hands into an involuntary twitch, clawing for unseen blankets and cups of coffee. I realised that going into work was probably a dumb idea last Wednesday, then just about killed myself walking down towards the train station on Thursday morning. Sore throats and very cold air make a yucky cocktail that you wish you hadn't wasted your money on.

A snapshot of our torrid lives

If you ever find yourself thinking "What are Mike and Lisa doing in Kobe right this second?", wonder no more. We're probably eating something like this or this, or winning any one of these things. I'm awfully proud of the hat.

Proper update tomorrow!

Cracking crabs and clacking clogs

It was with slight nostalgia that Lisa and I headed out to Kinosaki Onsen on Sunday, probably because we were driving up there in early March, in a rented Mazda, to stay for 1 night at a little Japanese inn with a crab hotpot laid on for dinner. If it weren't for our wrinkles and the chronically sensible car we drove up in, you'd swear it was 2006.

Keen on sake

After much farting around, Lisa and I have finally managed to organise and book a trip up to Kinosaki the onsen town. Hiroshima had no hotels free, Nara's only 90 minutes away so it's more of a day trip than a long weekendy place and every time the thought of going to Tokyo even enters your head, it $37.50 is debited from your bank account.

We had about 6 tries at booking places to stay at Kinosaki before we finally hit paydirt this morning. This was after my school principal explained that the recession was hitting the area hard and they were struggling to fill the rooms. Maybe he forgot to add "with you". Kinosaki is one of the few places in Japan that really makes sense to drive to - renting a car is actually cheaper than getting the train up there. I was seriously considering renting an RX8, but then I realised that for the same price, I could get a Mazda 2 and one hundred and twenty beers. I hope the boot's big enough.

In any case, we'll be heading off on Sunday to stay at a ryokan (Japanese inn). The area's specialty is crab so they'll be putting on a crab hotpot for us in our room and then we'll be free to wander the hot springs. It will be a big weekend of things in hot water. Hopefully I can keep my camera dry enough to get some good pictures.

Another year over, 35 days after it started

Exam time has now officially started in chilly Kobe (and the rest of Japan, for that matter), which means it's a month of no classes followed by end-of-year holidays. I've just had Aussie summer holidays and my natural rhythm had me primed and prepped for another full year, which makes things very confusing. I started the marathon 200m from the finish line and now I'm staring at my winner's trophy with a very strange expression on my face.

On quiet days and unrelated photos

Some strange photos are appearing in my photostream and this won't be the last time - I need to take photos of mundane things for my other blog (http://hyogoexchange.blogspot.com/ - wear your safety goggles, it's educational) so bear with me. Unless you like pictures of vending machines and sports fields, in which case enjoy.

I also don't have much to talk about, I'm just posting because I imagine legions of people visiting every day and frowning that I haven't updated the page. So, for all my loyal fans: an exclusive portrait of me, done on commission by one of my students.

Play that funky music, wasshoi

There's a poetic simplicity to the Naked Man Festival - it doesn't try to be anything other than thousands of men dressed in loincloths beating each other to a pulp to try and get a stick the size of a Coke can. It must be very liberating to stamp on someone's face for that silly a reason. Given the choice between “participant” and “spectator” however, I soundly ticked the latter. The world really doesn’t need to see me in a loincloth.

Ashes to ashes, brain to mush

Just finished about 2 hours straight of translating a very complicated brochure on the Japanese education system. Developing an irrational fear of relative clauses and sentences with no subjects.

Thankfully, I have another enkai coming up shortly - nothing fortifies the brain and cures a headache like alcohol (then returns it later with interest)!

Sorry I haven't been posting very much - I figured there would be only so much I could pad out "sat at home and watched 24 because it was too cold". Should be plenty to talk about after NAKED MAN WEEKEND though. I've volunteered to do a write up about it for the JET newspaper too - I hope they like references to shrinkage and skidmarks.

Snowboarding or something quite like it

I came to Japan promising myself that I would do things I couldn't do at home. So, in one weekend I smashed my shoulder into dust on a mountain, secured my safe passage to the Buddhist afterlife and stood in the snow stark naked and pouring with steam. Achievement unlocked.

Lisa's blog

It's way prettier than mine.

If nothing else, check out the picture of the monolithic hamburg dinner I had the other night. It includes the better part of 3 different animals and will either make you hungry or vegetarian.

I'll see y'all after snowboarding - possibly Sunday if I have any energy/bones left.

Enkai (work party)

Dear Mike,
Next time you're rip roaring drunk on a Monday night and your boss says "shall we have a second party?", politely decline. You will save yourself a lot of Panadol and liver.
Regards,
Sensible.


Dear Sensible,
No.
Regards,
Mike.

Sports Day

This is a bit overdue (4th of Feb?), but I finally got around to uploading the photos from Kobe High School's sports day. It was basically a big hike up the nearest mountain and then a marathon.

We'd probably call this strange creature "cross country" back home, except that this one was about 689m taller and had blue lips.

Setsubun

Photos above - they're the milk to the cereal that is my words.

A very brief introduction for those who aren't familiar with it: "Setsubun" or the Bean Throwing Festival is a yearly event in Japan that takes place early in February to mark the beginning of spring. It's called that because it involves people throwing beans to ward off evil "oni" (ogres/demons, noone can seem to agree on a translation) and chanting "oni ha soto, fuku ha uchi" (demons out, good fortune in). I've heard some parents even dress up like oni so their kids can pelt them with beans but I'm not sure how common that is.

We missed it last time we were here so we were determined to get to it this time around. And get to it we did, with a little bit of help from Mr Annual Leave.

Comments fixed

You should be able to post comments anonymously and/or without registering now, not sure why the settings were like that. Go crazy (in a good way)!

I'm suddenly sitting in the staff room with half the lights turned off and I'm not sure why because of a staff meeting. Time to sneak out... having taken leave and told them I'm going. Stay tuned for photos of the bean throwing festival!

Photos

They're like a pie made of wow. There should be previews at the top of the page and you can click the link to my Flickr page to see them proper big.

Internet should be installed at our place this Friday, then I can start updating properly without having to dig holes under my desk and smuggle bandwidth in the legs of my pants.

In short: everything is great at the moment but I'll be very glad when I've finished my millions of self introductions to each class. Gather round children, I'll tell you all about Cottesloe Beach and glare at my watch every few minutes.

The greatest trick culture shock ever played...

was convincing the world it didn't exist, to butcher the old adage.

I'll be fine, I thought - I've been there before, I've done the work thing, it'll be easy as pie. Which seemed a bit silly when I was curled up in the bathtub on the 2nd night with my head resting against the cold of the wall.

Our bags are packed...

I've been staring at this blank blog for about 5 minutes now and I'm starting to figure whatever I write will be the internet equivalent of a confrontingly loud microphone squeal. Then everyone will laugh, I'll clear my throat nervously and things will pick up from there.

Ahem!