Snowboarding or something quite like it

I came to Japan promising myself that I would do things I couldn't do at home. So, in one weekend I smashed my shoulder into dust on a mountain, secured my safe passage to the Buddhist afterlife and stood in the snow stark naked and pouring with steam. Achievement unlocked.

After catching a night bus from Osaka at about 10pm on Wednesday, about 14 of us intrepid travelers arrived in Hakuba, Nagano in the wee hours of the morning. Night buses, I've decided, are the worst way to get around short of being fired out of a cannon (and not nearly as fast). I'm very jealous of people who can fall asleep in the Tetris "Z block" position, because I'm hopeless at it. Each time I did actually start to drift off, the bus would lurch to an abrupt halt, the gates of fluorescent heaven would burst open and the driver would shout into the microphone that we should all relax and have a break. By six in the morning, my eyes felt like big powdery marshmallows and I needed a disposable razor for my teeth. Still, we soldiered on and got rid of our luggage, rented our "free" gear (at considerable expense) and hit the slopes.

The main slope backed on to a plaza with restaurants and shops which meant you could just unstrap your snowboard and head straight in for lunch, which was nice. My ankles (/back/knees/abs) weren't used to the cruel and unusual punishment so having a place I could collapse every few runs was very handy. Unfortunately, on the first run of the first day, Lis twisted her ankle and had to sit out most of that day. On the second run of the second day, I crashed down on my elbow, did my best to fire my left shoulderblade out through my back and had to sit out most of that day. Between us, we probably had two good days of snowboarding. Badness aside, we were actually getting pretty good by the end of our respective attempts - it was a nice feeling whizzing down without faceplanting every few metres. "When it was good it was very, very good and when it was bad it was awful" (except for having the excuse to drink a lot of cocoa and go through the menu alphabetically). I did enjoy the boarding bit, but after spitting out the last of the snow and seeing how black and blue I was, I wasn't too sad to give my gear back.

On the bright side, the hotel was great - it looked a bit like a swiss chalet on the outside and the rooms were huge open things that you could just fill with futons. Friday night, we all headed out into the nightlife part of the area and I introduced about 3 different countries to the joy of Coopers. They then introduced me to the joy of sake in a brown paper bag and the rest of the night wrote itself (off?). I think Lisa took some photos, but I was too busy laughing about how the club was called "Master Braster".

On the third day, a few of us headed off to Nagano city for a bit of sightseeing. The promised snow monkeys turned out to be a 45 minute bus trip and 30 minute walk away, so we politely declined. Instead, we headed to Zenkouji temple, which like all good temples has a gimmick - a long, pitch black tunnel that you walk through and try to find a key. If you touch it, it apparently grants you safe passage to the "Pure Land" in the afterlife. I found it but Lisa didn't - I've promised I'll wave to her from the window.

On the way back from Nagano, we stopped in at "Poka Poka Land" which is apparently the most famous onsen in the area (probably for its extremely silly name). I had a serious soak in the outdoor bath, watched the snow fall in front of the snowcapped mountains and felt my aches and pains melt away. Then I realised that I had forgotten my towel and needed to improvise. Into the sauna I went for as long as I could manage, then stood outside in the cold watching an immense amount of steam pour off me. I don't think anyone found it nearly as amusing as I did, but it did get me dry.

The weekend was kind of a comedy of errors - a mixed bag of irritating and amusing that kind of worked out in the end. I'm glad I went - you can't do this kind of stuff at home. Bruises are temporary, friends are forever and my newfound hatred of night buses is probably even longer than that.

Photos of all this above if you haven't seen them yet. Well, not all of it. I think you're better off not seeing the steam incident.